Yeah. I didn’t expect the last 2 years to be mostly me fixing all of the broken things on my body that I had to just ignore for most of my life. I am not sure you could pay me enough money to go through this again. I’ve been talking about this for awhile but this isn’t something you just get over quickly. I’m so happy that I am almost TOTALLY done!
I now have sight – and a lot of other things I’ve gotten fixed before, during, and after that debacle. Now I’m almost done with physical therapy. I’m stronger than I have ever been but I am still processing all of this. I work so much that I haven’t been outside all that much so I haven’t encountered absolutely everything in life post eye surgery yet. My last gig was so awesome that they let me work from home so I wouldn’t die in a car accident while recovering.
You start to go a bit nuts when you have to stay indoors for long periods of time and heal – and it’s not like you can stop working if you are in my position. During all of this I still delivered that amazing quality I’m known for. It’s actually EASIER to work now.
But I still get confused occasionally and I am still wrestling with how insane it is to get sight for the first time in your 30s.
Completely new relationship with the world. Having eyesight kind of feels like being a low level psychic. It’s easier to discover who the shitheads are.
I can now read facial expressions and can tell if someone is asking me how I’m doing and really wants to know or is just asking that to take up conversation time.
Imagine being an alien and landing on planet earth for the first time. That’s maybe (sort of) a description of what this is like.
I’m not joking, guys. Something “better” can freak you out if you aren’t used to it. And you know what? It’s weird for my family and friends too – many of them try to help me “too much”. For example, Harknell keeps forgetting that I no longer need a “Seeing-Eye Husband” and sometimes goes back into the formation we’d walk in when I was blind – until I gently nudge him out of my way. :)
I love that almost no one realized that we had a defined system for moving me around. It had 3 parts:
1. He’d walk in front of me and I’d track to his shoulder.
2. I’d hold my phone and he or an assistant would text me or whisper into my ear who a person was so I could walk up and say hello seamlessly. It was like I was an airplane with air traffic control.
3. I’d use my iPhone to photograph and zoom things so I could see them.
Any sort of change – even a positive one – opens the door opens to fear – to questioning what’s real and what isn’t.
Also you can see every person who is trying to look at your ass which you never realized before. @_@;;
What I thought the world was before my surgeries wasn’t true. The world is actually easier to live in than what I thought it would be. I struggle daily with the idea that I spent my entire life thinking things were a certain way but it wasn’t. I can seamlessly drive anywhere now.
I’m still processing it and I plan to go outside and experience as much as possible to get used to Life After Sight. And I do apologize that I am not posting anything super deep today, but I wanted to share one thing with you.
The older I get the more I realize that life is a weird cycle of gains and loss tied to if you are a positive or negative person. If you are positive, you’ll attract positive people and things to you. If you are negative – the reverse. The biggest thing to remember is that everything is temporary, everything changes, and the only thing that matters is that you keep going and seek out positive things because it’s the incremental contributions that add up to amazing things.